The 19th day without Cheng Zhi Hao.

The 19th day without him. He called and we chatted for almost 3hours today. I really do not know how I feel. But I think I should give up. He said he is happy being single. Upon hearing this, I know I should let him go. Yes I should. Just the 2 weeks...when I come back I know I will not contact him again. He said in the phone that he still likes me when he is chatting with me. I should not let that happen again. Only this way, he will be happy. I promised myself that I will not contact him after I come back.

Zhihao, I love you.

放弃你- 郭书瑶

我想我并不聪明

我没有你的机灵

在爱情变质之前我没反应

没察觉你的表情

你知道我不聪明

所以才选择放弃

放弃去猜你每一个反应

去猜你是否变心

放弃你放弃爱情

放弃了所有权利

连自己都知道这不公平

放弃你放弃自己

放弃了爱的权利

放弃你等于放弃我自己

所以我选择放弃

放弃去猜该如何留住你

放弃了所有回忆

The 18th day without Cheng Zhi Hao.

I am very tired. Tired of school. Tired of waiting. Tired of everything.

我很累.

Zhihao....I love you.

The 17th day without Cheng Zhihao.

The 17th day without him. I miss him again. Trying to leave him out of my mind...but i guess I still need some time. Has been busy with my school work....but whenever night falls in, I will miss him terribly again. Not as terrible as the beginning though. Maybe he is right, time should be able to heal. He loves his freedom now, so I should not be selfish. He often says, being with me he felt restricted. But is everything were to start again, I will give him the freedom he wants. Sometimes I may be thinking for his own good, but why did I never think of his feelings? I really learned alot in this relationship. I might not be able to be together again since so many things happened, but I will not make the same mistake again in the future.

Wondering did he miss me? Did he think of the memories we had? Do we have another chance?

I'm naive, but loving someone can be naive, isn't it?

Zhihao, I love you....

The 16th day without Cheng Zhi Hao.

The 16th day without him. Days gone by as usual, I miss him as usual, I love him as usual. He called me this morning. We had a little chat and I just loves his voice as usual too. Very long time since he last asked me to wake him up, I'm glad he requested it again this time. I just loves waking him up in the morning. The blurness in his tone of voice and speaking of unknown nonsense is just so cute and attractive.

I hope very much that I can wake him up every morning and prepare breakfast for him for the entire 2weeks in August. I hope he allows me to do that.
I'm looking forward to it even if he does not.


Zhihao, I love you, sweet.


我爱你-S.H.E

从你眼睛看着自己 最幸福的倒影
握在手心的默契 是明天的指引
无论是远近 什么世纪
在天堂拥抱 或荒野流离
我爱你我敢去 未知的任何命运
我爱你我愿意 准你来跛的决定
世界边境

偶尔我真的不懂你 有又谁真懂自己
往往两个人多亲密 是透过伤害来证明
像焦虑不安我就任性
怕泄漏你怕 所以你生气
我爱你让我听 你的疲惫和恐惧
我爱你我想亲 你倔强到极限的心
我撑起所有爱 围成风雨的禁地
挡狂风豪雨 想让你喘口气
被割破的信心 需要时间痊愈
梦想缠着怀疑 未来看不清
就紧紧的拥抱 去传递能量和勇气
我爱你

哪里都一起去 一起仰望星星
一起走出森林 一起品尝回忆
一起误会妒忌 一起雨过天晴
一起更懂自己 一起找到意义
我不要没有你 我不能没有你
绝不能没有你

The 15th day without Cheng Zhi Hao.

The 15th day without him. He called this morning. I just loves listening to his voice...listening to him telling me about his music views, his passion for it. 我爱上的是他对音乐的热诚. He is always so charming when playing music and that is exactly how I fall in love with him.

Zhihao, I love you.

丁当-我爱上的

眼泪 只准在眼框打转

就像海浪 抱着海岸

拥抱不等于拥有天堂

最后 再爱我一个晚上

地久天长 天大的谎

爱到了最后碎成碎钻 碎成了星光

我爱上的 是他笑起来的迷幻

我爱上的 是他比我还逞强

我爱上的 是他瞳孔里的太阳

我爱上的 是我逃不掉的逃亡

最后 我只剩下了一半

身体一半 灵魂一半

永远找不到另外一半

以后 难免会想起他吧

如果偶然 只是偶然

为什么遗忘那么难忘 那么那么难

我爱上的 是他戒不了的流浪

我爱上的 是我逃不掉的逃亡

The 14th day without Cheng Zhi Hao.

The 14th day without him. They say time heals. He says time heals. But why is it that I have not heal a single bit? I just want a very simple life with the one I love, why is is it so difficult? I just want a "I love you" from him everyday, just so simple. Why is it so hard? Why do I make a choice to be in a long distance relationship with so many obstacles? Can I make the choice again to stay by his side? I do not mind him loving me less than I love him. I do not mind treating him better den he did. I do not mind all these. I just want to be with him, that's all.

Zhihao, I love you.

我不配-周杰伦

这街上太拥挤 太多人有秘密

玻璃上有雾气 在背影照进过去

你脸上的情绪 在还原那场雨

这巷弄太过弯曲 走不回故事里

这日子不再绿 又斑驳了几句

剩下搬空回忆的我在大房子里

电影院的座椅 隔遥远的距离

感情没有对手戏 你跟自己下棋

还来不及仔仔细细 写下你的关于

描述我如何爱你

你却微笑的离我而去

这感觉 已经不对 我努力在挽回

一些些应该体贴的感觉 我没给

你嘟嘴 许的愿望很卑微 在妥协

是我忽略 你不过要人陪

这感觉 已经不对 我最后才了解

一页页 不忍翻阅的情节 你好累

你默背 为我掉过几次泪 多憔悴

而我心碎 你受罪 你的美 我不配

The 13th day without Cheng Zhi Hao.

The 13th day without him. It feels so terrible not knowing what he is thinking. He did not call me for days and so I called him. He sounds like he has alot of problems but he just did not want to mention. I really do not not know what he is thinking. I have so many questions that I wish to ask him, but I know I can't. Firstly, he might feel irritated if I ask. Secondly, I can't really face the facts of the answers. I did not want to hurt myself again. I do not want to know that he is troubled over the girl he likes. I do not want to know he is not hoping to see me in August. I do not want to know that he doesn't want me to go back and study. I do not want him to tell me to give up on him. And I do not want to know he really does not loves me anymore. I do not want to know any of this which hurts me badly. I do not want to know. i am a coward, I know. But I'm never a coward in loving him.

Zhihao....I'm not afraid to tell you that...I love you.

Everytime-Britney Spears

Notice me take my hand

Why are we strangers when

Our love is strong

Why carry on without me?

Everytime I try to fly

I fall without my wings

I feel so small

I guess I need you baby

And everytime I see you in my dreams

I see your face, you're haunting me

I guess I need you baby

I may have made it rain

Please forgive me

My weakness caused you pain

And this song is my sorry

At night I pray

That soon your face

Will fade away

And everytime I try to fly

I fall without my wings

I feel so small

I guess I need you baby

And everytime I see you in my dreams

I see your face you're haunting me

I guess i need you baby

The 12th day without Cheng Zhi Hao.

The 12th day wihout him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him TERRIBLY.

Zhihao...I miss you and I love you terribly.



I don't want ti miss a thing-Aerosmith


I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Where every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when i dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God we're together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever

I don't want to miss one smile
I don't want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

The 11th day without Cheng Zhi Hao.

The 11th day without him. Today is suppose to be our 2nd anniversary. He did not remember today. Normally, his HP will st the alarm on every 1st of the month. I kept waiting untill 12.20a.m but he did not call or sms me. I guess he already turned that reminder alarm off.

I have been thinking and thinking for days. Spoke to my housemate and spoke to a friend. Since I already made a wrong decision by coming here to study, why not I take the courage and make a new decision again. I really want to go back to the place where I spent my happiest times. I hope it is not too late.

Zhihao, I'm sorry I did not listen to you.

Zhihao, I love you.

The song I'm posting today is the song I wanted for my wedding day with him.

我的依赖-蔡依林

地震的夜晚 赶来作伴

重感冒的凌晨 煮着稀饭

这个让我哭过的人 多么温暖

我感谢我们不完美 却坦白自然

我们从牵手放手 又牵手 走过来

愿意为更懂你的心 spending all my life

每当情绪像海 你只抱我 从不催我讲出来

我就明白 你是我的依赖

我们从期待失落 又期待 走过来

愿意为一起看未来 spending all my life

每当变成习惯 生活太淡 总有感动的意外

我就明白 你是我的依赖

就算是幸福都由老天在管

只借不送 我还是不肯还 用真爱耍赖

我们从日出日落 又日出 走过来

愿意为爱你去忙碌 spending all my life

每当命运变幻 需要狂欢 需要流泪 你都在

我们明白 爱是互相依赖

The 10th day without Cheng Zhi Hao.

The 10th day without him. I love Zhihao still as much. He has not call me for 2days....I miss his voice so much. Wondering what has he been doing these few days. Saw his msn nickname and felt that he is really happy. As long as he is happy, I should be happy for him and I should not interupt his life again. So, after the final 2weeks, I should really leave him alone. I did not want to, but do I have a choice? To keep that love silently in my heart I know I need a lot of determination and courage. To keep him happy, everything is worth it.

Zhihao, give me a chance to say "I LOVE YOU" for one last time, face to face.
Love u, Zhihao.


妳听得到-周杰伦


有谁能比我知道 你的温柔像羽毛
秘密躺在我怀抱 只有你能听得到
还有没有人知道 你的微笑像拥抱
多想藏着你的好 只有我看得到

站在屋顶只对风说 不想被左右
本来讨厌下雨的天空 直到听见有人说爱我

坐在电影院的二楼 看人群走过
这么那一天的我们 都默默的微笑很久

我想我是太过依赖 在挂电话的刚才
坚持学单纯的小孩 静静看守这份爱
知道不能太依赖 怕你会把我宠坏
你的香味一直徘徊 我舍不得离开